It is time to regale you dear reader with a tragic tale of woe. For two long years your brave blogger swept all before him in his sun fantasy football dream team mini league. Sending spies deep into the European hinterland to gather intelligence I determined the best new imports to stock my team with which thanks to “The Sun’s” gloriously insular pro-premier league stance were often available at fire sale prices. In my first year espionage in the region, known by the locals as, Espana informed me that Aguero was an excellent recruit. In my second year my asset network was more developed. I was able to secure the services of Michu right from the beginning of the season. This year though I fear that my asset network has been compromised. My team has been infected with a series of double agents that simply have not been scoring enough points. As the second transfer window deadline draws near. I decided now is the opportune time to weigh my options. The importance of this cannot be overestimated. I mean at the moment my team is being kept in contention by an erratic genius who fuels his skills by feasting on human flesh.
The problem is I have only three transfers with which I can purge the subversive elements but I fear there are at least four double agents in my side. It’s like tinker, tailor, soldier, spy but four times worse guys!
Sakho is the first of the contenders for the chop. Clearly unloved by the Sun journalists Sakho doesn’t get points for performance but even worse Liverpool haven’t kept a clean sheet with him in the side. The result being that Sakho has actually scored -2 points.
Moving into midfield the next contender for termination with extreme prejudice is Giaccherini. This Sunderland and Italian international (why is he at Sunderland!?) attacking midfielder plays for a team who are waist deep in the relegation quicksand. However, the run in over the crucial December/January period does include a number of winnable games and they have just picked up a morale boosting win against travel sick Man City. More importantly for Giaccherini, who I know is desperate to stay in my team, the other double agents just seem to be more important to get rid of.
Hobbling in at number three on the executioners list is Theo Walcott. I had banked on him building on last season’s record high 14 goals. Theo had other ideas however. Displaying an unbelievable amount of selfishness he got himself injured for six weeks and although poised to make a come back I fear he is unlikely to play much with Ozil, Ramsey, Wilshire, Flamini, Arteta, Carzola and Rosicky all ahead of him. On top of this Walcott would free up a large chunk of funds.
Lastly, there is the most obvious double agent in the mix a man who so cunningly fooled my agents by apparently doing impressive things for Sporting Lisbon, the delightfully named, Wolfswinkel. Since scoring on the opening day this supposed striker has only managed one shot on target. He definitely needs to go but which two will follow him and who will be given another chance in the big leagues of my fantasy football team?
If I can work out how I might put a pole up (a pole which I reserve the right to complete ignore).